Magnetic

28 Nov

Earlier this year I became aware that a strange condition is afflicting people here in the United States who have been vaccinated against COVID-19. Joanna Overholt, a registered nurse, explained to the Ohio House of Representatives Health Committee on June 8th that her body was now magnetized. To prove her point she placed a key against her chest. She then tried to demonstrate that it would also stick to her neck. After several failed attempts at securing the key to her neck she asked why she was exhibiting this magnetized condition.

I have been quite distraught since learning about this. After all, I am fully vaccinated but am not exhibiting magnetism. I usually drop my fork, or whatever else I am holding. But I cannot help fearing for these poor souls whose bodies now attract metal. Just consider the danger they must be in. Metal could hit them at any time from any angle. Are there public resources the afflicted could access? Hotlines? Trauma centers? Metal removal offices? Do they no longer sit at the table with family during meals? Must they relocate to houses made of wood or plastic?

Hard as I try, though, I cannot discern this rising affliction within my city environment. I see no signs of magnetization anywhere. So, the problem must exist elsewhere. If, dear reader, you can direct me to an appropriate agency or charity I will do my best to help those afflicted. And, Bryan, if you are reading this, thank you.

Mark Sumner, ”The ‘vaccines make you magnetic’ claims are ridiculous, but the cult of ignorance is terrifying,” Daily Kos, July 14, 2021; https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/7/14/2039822/-The-vaccines-make-you-magnetic-claims-are-ridiculous-but-the-cult-of-ignorance-is-terrifying

Jake Zuckerman, ”She says vaccines make you magnetized. This lawmaker invited her testimony, chair says,” Ohio Capital Journal, July 14, 2021; https://ohiocapitaljournal.com/2021/07/14/she-says-vaccines-make-you-magnetized-this-lawmaker-invited-her-testimony-chair-says/

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